Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories.
One man says, "I had the worst Freudian slip the other day."
The other man responds: "What is a Freudian slip?"
"You know, it's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about. Like the other day I was at the airport and this really beautiful lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh', I asked for 'to pickets to Tittsburgh'.
The second man replies: "Oh, now I know what you are talking about.
It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt please' and instead I said: 'You fucking bitch! You ruined my life!"